Distorted Re-Ale-Ity (Pale Ale- 5.6% ABV)

We’re a couple of idiots who thought it was a good idea to open a brewery in an old retrofitted calf barn (the jury is very much still out on the intelligence of this move). We make a lot of different beers in very small batches, but between our tasting panel of 2 childhood friends and 1 wife, we’ve determined that this is the recipe we like most (I assure you it was a rigorous testing process in which many beers were sacrificed. God bless their malty souls). It’s hazy, juicy, and fruity with a delectable medley of fruity notes delivered on a cloud-like pillow for your mouth. It’s all the things we love in a hoppy beer, and it’s one of our OG homebrew recipes.

Tasting Notes: Notes of peach, berry and citrus. Very soft, pillowy mouthfeel. Pungent aromas reminiscent of a citric, tropical fruit medley. A low bitterness, easy drinking beer that is as delectably juicy as it is hazy.

 

Where to Buy It (Beer Store Locations):

Bolton – 150 McEwen Drive E

Brampton – Bramalea City Centre – 80 Peel Centre Drive

Brampton – Kingspoint Plaza – 374 Main

Brampton – Hurontario/Steeles – 55 Charolais Blvd

Mississauga – 6780 Town Centre Circle

Orangeville – 270 Broadway Street

Guelph – Willow West Mall – 111 Silvercreek Parkway

 

Where to taste it:

IN THE CONFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME!

(or while watching a crisp fall sunset streak fiery colors across the sky in the company of the ones you love… whatever you’re into you know)

 

“I’m a Tax Paying Citizen” (Porter – 5.5% ABV)

“I’M A TAX PAYING CITIZEN!”

These are the words you’ll hear (there may also be some variation of “GAHD DAMNIT” to conclude the declaration) before some pretentious patriot begins to shout about how their super duper important and relevant problem is being ignored in favor of some other less super duper important  (in their opinion) problem. They will also very likely tangent themselves into a monologue about how “The Man” is spending their hard earned tax money on (insert the thing that the individual does not like), that they are positively incensed and they need to make sure that everybody knows about it! (though it is important to note that this individual will not actually do anything beyond complain about it to you).

Ahhhh, the great joys of pretention and obnoxiousness.

In honor of these extremely entertaining people who also happen to frequent alcohol serving establishments, we will be releasing “I’m a Tax Paying Citizen!” The first release in our Pretentious Porter Series. It is the first of what will hopefully be a long line of pretentious porters named after supremely pretentious people we come across during the daily grind that is life.

Where to taste it:

Bistro Riviere (82 Main St, Erin, ON N0B 1T0)

The Busholme (156 Main St, Erin, ON  N0B 1T0)

Abe Erb (15 King St S, Waterloo, ON  N2J 1N9)

Abe Erb (151 Charles St W, Kitchener, ON  N2G 1H6)

Distorted Alternative (Pale Ale- 5.6% ABV)

This is a different version of  one of our favourite recipes at the brewery. We tweaked the hop bill slightly and switched up the yeast for the purpose of science. It’s light, without being thin; juicy, without being cloying; and a bright hazy straw yellow in colour (it’s especially pretty when the sun hits it just right). Low bitterness, easy drinking. Yum.

Tasting Notes: Hazy, juicy and fruity. Notes of peach, berry, pineapple and citrus. Pillowy mouthfeel, full bodied.

Where to taste it:

Bistro Riviere (82 Main St, Erin, ON N0B 1T0)

The Busholme (156 Main St, Erin, ON  N0B 1T0)

Abe Erb (15 King St S, Waterloo, ON  N2J 1N9)

Abe Erb (151 Charles St W, Kitchener, ON  N2G 1H6)

 Batch 3 Bootleg (Citra & Amarillo) (Hoppy Norwegian Farmhouse Ale – 6.1% ABV)

This Hoppy Norwegian Farmhouse Ale was the third batch of beer we ever made, and the first one we ever sold. Batch 1 was donated to family/friends for a couple of events (we didn’t deem it good enough for public sale/consumption); batch 2 was donated to the drain (probably shouldn’t have tried to get some delicious stressed yeast flavors on our second ever batch of beer); and batch 3 came out just right.

Tasting Notes: notes of citrus, fruit, orange peel, and papaya with a slight hint of spicy coriander. Smooth mouthfeel. Finishes dry. Very refreshing. Makes you want another sip.

 

Not Exactly the Shangri-La (Session IPA- 4.2% ABV)

This Session IPA is named after one of our biggest fans who decided to drop by for a beer before we were open; only to be disappointed by what he found… no beer and nothing remotely close to the mythical Himalayan utopia of Shangri-La.

Tasting Notes: Big notes of navel orange, citrus and pine. Hints of grapefruit that fade into a light lingering bitterness. Full bodied, but light and refreshing on the tongue. Hazy in appearance. Straw yellow in colour. A go to on a hot day by the pool side.

Batch 3 Bootleg (Cascade & El Dorado) (Norwegian Farmhouse Ale- 5.0% ABV)

This Hoppy Norwegian Farmhouse Ale was the third batch of beer we ever made, and the first one we ever sold. Batch 1 was donated to family/friends for a couple of events (we didn’t deem it good enough for public sale/consumption); batch 2 was donated to the drain (probably shouldn’t have tried to get some delicious stressed yeast flavors on our second ever batch of beer); and batch 3 came out just right.

We decided to turn this beer into a series after liking how the first one turned out. This version features dried orange peel, coriander and a heavy dry hop of Cascade and El Dorado. We also dropped the ABV to 5% for maximum drinkability on these final days of summer.

Tasting Notes: Distinct notes of melon and ripe tropical fruit backed by citrusy orange flavours and a touch of earthiness. Finishes dry. Very refreshing.

Lumber For Ale (IPA- 7.3% ABV)

Did we trade beer for a sweet wood stained table? Yes, yes we did. This very beer was the one we exchanged in a true throwback to a time before currency; where things such as lumber and ale ruled supreme in transactional exchanges.

Tasting Notes: A massive dosing of citra, mosaic and simcoe give this beer distinct notes of citrus, pine, fruit, nectarine and berry.

 

Secret Wave (IPA- 6.2% ABV)

This beer was named after the very large dry hop it received by one of our favourite Australian hop varietals, Vic Secret. It also happened to be born during an unseasonable heat wave ripping across the province (thanks hurricane Harvey!)

Tasting Notes: The heavy dosing of Vic Secret gives this beer wave after wave of pineapple flavor and aroma backed up by notes of passion fruit and a medley of tropical/stone fruit. Low bitterness, silky smooth mouth feel, hazy and burnt orange in color. Drinks like fresh pineapple and passionfruit juice.

 

90’s Nostalgia (Pale Ale- 5.5% ABV)

We know we spend too much time together in the brew barn completing (or at least trying to complete) a baker’s dozen worth of tasks to produce our beer. Too much time together has inevitably lead us down some deep, dark, and obscure rabbit hole conversations; some of which we probably shouldn’t ever talk about again.

However, this particular one was about T-Rex boy from the “What’s your thing” PSA (if you’re Canadian and grew up in the 90’s, you should know it, it’s pretty friggin’ swell. Watch it here ); and whether or not he’s still rocking those bad-ass T-Rex sounds. We certainly hope so. In fact, we have also been practicing our T-Rex noises in the brew barn, and though we will never be able to claim it as our very own “thing,” we would still love to have a T-Rex off sometime. Let us know if you’re up for it, T-Rex Kid!

We make beer, what’s your thing?

Tasting Notes: Unfiltered and dry hopped, this beer features big notes of citrus and pine backed by flowery aromatics and impressions of grapefruit, mango, and earthy spice.

 

From the Bine (2017) (Wet Hop Pale Ale – 5.2% ABV)

Our first wet hopped beer was produced with hops that were 100% grown on the farm. It features a melange of organic Columbus and Centennial hops that were also all harvested by us, by hand (it was not a short process) (Note: they are NOT certified organic, but they were grown 100% organically. Nothing but manure, water and sunlight!) We handpicked all the hops we could and used them all at once fresh from the bine late in the boil!

We found that Caledon grown Centennial and columbus is just a bit different than Washington grown. It features much more prominent orange notes than we’re used to, something we are pretty pleased with!

Tasting Notes: Notes of citrus, pine, and nectarine orange over a light, mostly clear body. Drink it fresh!

 

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